We were strangers
who found kinship
under the siege of
each other’s darkness.
Among the flicker of
phone screens and the
vulnerability of dawn, our
secrets & shadows collided.
You leave imprints
all over parts of my
soul that I forgot were
there, that I never quite
knew, existed before.
I never really recognized
what love was about until I
stared it down and realized
that the image staring back
at me has always been you.
They wanted the
but their feet
refused to leap.
he could love
for both of
He asked me
why I was up
till 2 on a
I had to work
the next day,
and I said
I didn’t tell him
that I was waiting
for his good night.
What do you do
when the place
you call home
no longer feels
like it is?
a captive sheep and less of
a human being." Haiku # 6
the world alone until you
realize you don’t." Haiku # 5
tough when I know millions of
reasons why I can’t." haiku #4
I always come back to You Lord
No matter how far I run away
No matter what distance stretches
Like a vast crevasse between us
I always look back to where You are.
All this time, I thought you left
Because I no longer felt you there.
But You never did. You never will.
Turns out, I did the leaving.
could tumble out of my mouth
so I do not drown." Haiku #3
Waiting for the Lord’s timing means
understanding that I need nothing
but my relationship with Him.
You see, I’ve been bogged down by
the man I want to marry, coveting
godly men when God hasn’t
prepared them for me.
I wasn’t really waiting in Jesus.
I was waiting for the perfect man
to sweep me off my feet so
I can claim we found each other
through our intimacy with Him.
In the middle of my illusion,
God opened my eyes to
reveal my own deception.
I was too focused on me,
and on “the one” that
I’ve completely lost track
of God’s redemption.
He’s not just a husband-giver,
blessing-doler, healer & comforter.
He’s the Savior, our Savior, my Savior.
He’s the Messiah, the Lord of all.
So I fall on my knees and ask
for forgiveness, for worshipping
the wrong ‘god’ in the middle
of my singleness. I pray that He
lets my life reflect His glory, & that
my heart pursues His will only.
—Note to self: While I’m Waiting || Part I
When God decides I’m ready,
He will allow my path to intertwine
with the man He has chosen.
When a man is so lost in Jesus that
constellations are written on his skin,
spelling God’s name, I will love him dearly.
I will be his second priority after God,
but I believe it’s the best place to be.
When a man pursues my heart,
he knows it’s buried deeply in God.
He wouldn’t have found me otherwise.
When a man’s soul leads in maintaining
sexual purity instead of merely following
what I have to say, he is God’s gift
for waiting patiently in His own timing.
It’s easy to pave my own path, and
write my own love story when society
tells me that singles should hurry.
But I trust in the Lord’s timing for His
plans are better than everything.
—Note to self: When God Decides I’m Ready || Part II
When your chest suffocates
with every inhalation, and the
lobes of your lungs are inflamed
with an unknown anxiety,
it’s okay to not be okay.
When your hands are shivering
and your heart is cartwheeling,
and the corners of your eyes
are threatening to create tears,
it’s okay to not be okay.
When the ground disappears
from beneath your feet, and
your knees buckle at the weight
heaped on your shoulders,
it’s okay to not be okay.
Remember John 11:35
when Jesus wept?
So cry, scream, sob, sing.
The world will attempt to
drown you with its worries.
But at the end of the day,
remember who’s stronger.
Remember His power.
Remember that He has
When the world tries to
make you forget about
the fact that you were
saved by His selfless death,
remember where your
permanent home is.
—Note To Self: It’s Okay To Not Be Okay
This is written while having a panic attack in an attempt to cope with it. I haven’t had a panic attack in a while…
When a man tells you,”I’m happy you’re mine”,
run until your ankles are swollen and the
soles of your feet are caked with mud.
Refuse to be anyone else’s but God’s.
When a man steals a kiss, no matter where,
please do not hesitate to leave. Your body
is no one else’s but God’s and the man
He has written in the lines of your story.
Your body is not a footnote of extras nor
it is a satiation for the curiosities of the world.
Your body is His temple, and it is His own.
When a man exists for himself and for his
selfish pleasures, walk away faster than
you’ve ever walked before. You are made
for selflessness and a God-filled life,
not facades and saccharine lies.
When a man’s standard of love is of
this world, expect ephemeral affection.
No love can measure up to God’s,
and if it’s a love that’s not in Him,
it will fade away into oblivion.
You see, if you’re hoping for a man
who lives in needing Jesus more than
he needs you, never settle for anything
less than what God has planned for you.
—Note to self: When God decides I’m ready
You spent most of your life
hiding behind your walls,
ties, and calling
But when you are
loved so infinitely,
it fills you so
much so that you
love and love
and love and love.
Your walls crumble,
trust grows stronger,
and your strength
is derived from
a God who is greater.